Are you a grumpy old man like me? Test
your grumpiness by answering the questions below with your response
which most fits the answers in the table. Add up your points as you
go along.
When you've done that compare your
points total to the table at the bottom of the page to obtain your grumpyometer
reading.
Question One.
Do you think call centres offer an
efficient service and are staffed by highly intelligent people who will
do their utmost to help you, the paying customer?
Yes I agree.
They could improve.
Do me a favour.
What have you woken
me up for?
0 points
1 point
2 points
10 points
Question Two
Are you over forty?
Yes I am.
No I'm not.
Pardon?
Can I have a
chocolate biscuit?
1 point
Deduct 100 points
5 points
100 points
Question Three
Do you enjoy talking to people from
technical support helplines?
Yes they are
really helpful.
No I do not.
They are staffed
by smart-arsed, patronising little nerds.
What's a helpline?
0 points
2 points
5 points
100 points
Question Four
Do you find that young people are pleasant
and communicative?
Yes
No
No, they all
sound like an American Rap star.
Leave me alone
I'm listening to the Shipping Forecast.
0 points
5 points
10 points
50 points
Question Five
Can you find a parking spot whilst visiting town?
Yes
Never
Yes, but someone
in a 4 x 4 pulls into it before me.
Yes, but only
when I'm walking or travelling on the bus when there are always
plenty of spare places.
0 points
5 points
10 points
50 points
Question Six
Do you recognise people on the TV who are introduced
as well known celebrities?
Yes
No
Sometimes
Yes, it looks
like the girl who works in the Chemist's.
0 points
20 points
5 points
50 points
Question Seven
Do you agree with conjestion charges in cities?
Yes
No
Yes, because
I'm worried about the environmental impact of the motor car.
Yes, as long
as I'm exempt as conjestion is always caused by other people who
have no right to be driving on the roads.
0 points
5 points
Deduct 50 points
100 points
Question Eight
Do you agree with parents who take their children to
school in vehicles on the "school run"?
Yes, it's the
responsible thing to do.
Yes, if you
live a long way from the school.
No, because
I'm worried about the health of children who do not exercise properly
and the environmental impact of the motor car.
No, and what's more the government
should ban all 4 x 4
vehicles unless they are owned by a farmer or someone who works
on a building site. Anyway, in my day we had to bloody well
walk!
0 points
5 points
deduct 50 points
100 points
Question Nine
What's your view of so called "Reality Television"
I enjoy it and
find the programmes stimulating.
It's all a load
of old crap.
It's a load
of old crap and a waste of the license fee.
Isn't Felecity
Kendal on the other side?
I've never watched
any of them as I'm always watching re-runs of The Sweeney on Granada
Plus.
Deduct 500 points
10 points
50 points
150 points
200 points
Question Ten
Do you think the world is a better place today than
it was twenty years ago?
Yes
No
Not sure
Leave me alone,
and no I don't want any double glazing, and stop talking in that
stupid voice that sounds like you're asking me a question all
the time, and stop saying "Innit man, wicked and awesome,"
you're not an American your British!
0 points
5 points
0 points
1000 points
Score rating of your grumpiness.
Less than 10 points = You're
not grumpy at all.....give it time my boy.
Between 10 points and 100 points =
Slightly grumpy.....keep working at it.
Between 100 points and 200 points =
You're well on your way to being a grumpy old
man.
Over 200 points
= Well done, welcome aboard,
do you fancy a pint old chap?
